Did you hear it?

2008-12-03T00:18:00.003+08:00

BYE!

i left

2008-11-19T00:51:00.003+08:00

I went to our house alone. He came over to look for me.
He was forced to sleep despite he is not tired.
He wanted to play game and I did not allow him to.
I avoided all his questions.
I did not want to tell him why I was so upset.
I shouted at him at half past 3 in the morning to sleep by my side that he went Shhh.. Shhh...
I heard the swtiches and he lied beside me.
The next moment I was in his arms and started crying. And LOUDLY.

I wanted to part from this world, and be in his arms forever. At least, for last night.

2008-11-18T01:52:00.006+08:00

You did not know how much you hurt me and the man you chose to live with for the past 20 over years.

You said, she see a person wrongly thus married the wrong man.

What has he done wrong to deserve all this? And what has daughter done to get involved in all this shit?

I do not understand! He is 24/7 standby for you, unlike mine. He always kept quiet whenever you always reprimand him with the wrong things he had done, his failure in his past! Have you ever spare a thought for anyone around you?

You said, because he is my father, you did not want to tell me too much. So? Those are PAST! I am not interested to know. I only knew how he kept secrets from you. Hasn't he been doing well as a role of a husband now? Hasn't he been doing well in his current job? Hasn't he been giving you a humble shelter trying to protect you from problems? He is exceeding his limit because you never realise your unrealistic expectation of us is crazy!

Too bad if I have to say words to hurt you. Cos you hurt us too many times. If you still think it's just you to say these, then too bad as well. I am really mad this time!!

Can't you see his efforts? Can't you live simply? Can't you just learn the fact that we are not rich, we do not come from rich family? Too bad, you still need to work, has your salary ever spent on house instalments, PUB bills or even your personal phone bills? Does money really make you happy? Does money really make one happier?!

Yah, it's us, the Lee family who makes you suffer.
I don't want to be like you.

2008-11-15T02:07:00.002+08:00

It's the last day of the week and I am so glad it's ending!
It's been eventful.

I did not go to Sydney due to technical problem. On the same day, I almost lost my phone that I used vulgarities on my MSN and Facebook. I even cursed and scolded the person who answered my call and kept silent. In the end, I found out it was the old taxi driver who picked it and brought it home. He asked his daughter to contact the person who dropped it and that's ME!! I was so happy when she called and we were already at M1 Paragon about to get a new SIM card. Thank you old taxi driver! I must have been a nice girl. Haha!

It's really waste of time, waste of energy and waste of petrol to lose a phone. Fortunately, I have not wasted the money yet. Phew!

I was activated for Christchurch and there goes my Narita and my shopping list! Urgh! The great thing was, I had WEEKEND spent in Singapore! 2 rounds of mahjong with yummy dessert that ends the Saturday night! I am loving it!!

The Weekend.

2008-11-09T23:47:00.003+08:00

We invited the first batch of friends for a small house warming today. It was all well with most of the usual gang to turn up. With Wii to keep all entertained, and Baby Danielle had every uncles and aunties attention. The food was okay, and the donuts from J.co bought by Jiawei and Alvin was yummy. I did not realise Singapore sells such delicious donuts. Soft and not too sweet for my preference.

It's work again tomorrow. Schedules have been really tight and off days become minimal. I am really tired. (perhaps, situation might be different next financial year.)

Time to turn in. It's a very pack week. Oh! I am around on Wed, I want to play VB! Hope it does not rain. And yah! I went for a walk at Henderson Wave and the Treetop with Qing. It really feels great after workout. Thereafter, I had dinner with Ying and GBK, follow by a mahjong session with Yen joining us at GBK's house. I won $12!!!

Have a good week ahead everyone!!

First Home Cooked Dinner.

2008-11-02T21:09:00.005+08:00

Despite of all the disagreements. But how can I forget to give him a peck at the cheek for the long said and finally cooked dinner last night.

We did our grocery shopping at Cold Storage and bought his long wanted long pillow. Back to grocery, the total spending for our dinner and a loaf of bread and nutella for next morning cost $14. Everything is at a hike despite the fall of the economy. Or is it just Singapore that is getting more and more expensive?

Ok it's Stir Fried Tung Hoon with chicken and crabmeat for dinner last night.

2008-11-02T14:36:00.004+08:00

Samantha asked is there any couple who never quarrel?
My replied was NO.
I added on that sometimes, quarrels might not be a bad thing. It might help one gets to know another better.

Yet, every women has different threshold of pain in everything. How much is much? How long is long? Can we really forget? Can we really not forgive?

How many times we will think he is not the right man? But, how sure are we whether he is not the right man?

Will we and our men, one day, has no topic to talk about? When we just do our things and they just do their things like our previous generation parents?

How fast can we let go the past, when past is past?

I thought I was so positive but why the memories were so vivid? And why are memories of us so sad? And why keep whelming over those unwelcome memories?

I must have been behaving with stupidity.

Why?

How have we survived the 5 years?
How did the time flies?
When we have full of differences?

Is that common in every common couple?
How?

Keep Everything to myself.

2008-11-02T04:17:00.004+08:00

I shall keep it to myself.
Keeping it to myself.

Keep Everything to myself.

Keep Everything to myself.

Keep Everything to myself.

Keep Everything to myself.

Everything to myself.
Everything to myself.
And Everything to myself....

It's nothing. Just keep it to myself.

Day 2 in London

2008-10-29T04:42:00.011+08:00

It was my first visit to Harrods. Yes, after numerous time of visiting London.
Sweet Samantha brought me to Laudere for some yummy cakes.
Just in time to boost my low emo.

Finally, after so many years again, both of us watched the musical. It's getting cooler at the night. Some night snaps at Piccadily Circus before we end the day.

London, a quiet New York.

London Day 1 (gmt +0)

2008-10-28T03:57:00.002+08:00

It was freaking cold at 8 degrees Celsius without topcoat when we arrived in London.

I had so many familiar faces onboard and most were from the same London previously. So deja vu.

There is a batch girl with me as well. Ivy. We hardly talked even on flight, perhaps because we did not get a chance to work together.

I went out with her immediately after checking in, to Tesco and Marks & Spencer. Finally, we had a small chance to catch up.
She's getting ROM this December.
She's a vegetarian everyday, for the first half of the day.
She dislikes anything strawberry flavor, unless fresh fruit.
She's trying to slim down.

Cool. In 20min, I knew 4 things about her and in average I know a thing about her in every 5 min. Well... duhz.

Couched on the bed for the whole morning chatting with Yen over the internet.
Had my favorite scones- Cheese scones, Devon scones, strawberry scones.

Samantha and I made plans for tomorrow. Perhaps a catch of Dirty Dancing, coffee at Knightbridge, and a walk along OXford Street.

2008-10-26T20:25:00.002+08:00

And there goes my precious 4 days off...

Leaving home for London again in about another 15min.
I set a target for myself in London.
That is, to sleep for 24 hours non-stop.

It has been an eventful month.

2008-10-21T00:06:00.003+08:00

I think this was the ever States flight that sucks.
I did not have a satisfying shopping. It was just dazed whole day. Tired and weary, dozed off for 3 hours and became wide awake for the whole night at gmt-7.

I couldn't wait to come back to Sin. To be around for a mess partly caused by me. (yes, I still think it's caused by me.) Panicked and running out of words. Nothing to share like my usual self. All that happened to me was living myself in guilt for the next few days.

Fortunately, pax load was not heavy. Fortunately, my check was on the first sector. Fortunately, I manage to tidy up my mixed feelings for work.

I wonder who will believe me if I tell them I really felt terrible. They must be laughing at me, cause I would have laughed at myself too.

It's good to be knowing that things have mellowed a little.

My new home was great to be at despite of emptiness. Quiet and in the world of our own, my own.

I am sorry but I have shut my mum rudely again.
I am not in any mood for any teachings, telling or nagging.

Even the man I love did not help. Cos he and her are just birds of the same feather flock together, unknowingly.

Just needed some quiet, lone time.

raaaannnnnndoms.

2008-10-04T07:37:00.002+08:00

One more flight to go before the official 4 days leave begin. I was trying my luck to give away the shit turn on Monday for an early arrival turn or an off. It is so as to extend my leave by another 2 days.

Perhaps I shall just forget about it and just do it. It will not take a pinch and it is just another going-through-the-motion.

I have sent out sms asking for home mailing addresses. Many replied to meet up and pass it to them personally. Actually, that was my plan, however I just want to have the addresses just in case we did not.

Despite the wedding is nearing, I still sleep late, eat junks, and not working out. And my only motivation is not able to motivate me anymore. All I am looking forward to sweat it out was the volleyball game on every available Wednesday.

The last game, I could jump and spike. That was so exciting. I am beginning to feel ambitious, I want to serve from the top again.

Oh ya.. I need a proper pair shoes for the game. =)

2008-10-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

I played volleyball today! =) =)

ever once and never again.

2008-09-30T00:50:00.004+08:00

Of all weekdays and afternoons we have had in Singapore, we chose to go on a Monday night, 2 hours before closing and 2 days away from Hari Raya.

This was where we started our queue at IKEA. It was the longest ever. Amazingly, the crowd form lines when at this far, we could not even see the counter number yet. It took us about half an hour or slightly more.

Not so bad huh...

p/s: BF wanted the usual $2 hotdog bun that comes with a drink. However, there are left with only hotdog without bun. At the end, he paid $1.50 for just the drink and he regretted he did not pay the 50cts for just the hotdog. Duhz.........

p/s: Oh... my dear vb girls.. ask me again what I want for my house, I will tell you this time. :p hehe...

London London

2008-09-26T01:52:00.006+08:00

I was called swanky by two swankies. What can I say about them? Simply swankier.

I still have friends this trip and expectin more friends coming in everyday and friends that were unexpected came in too! Rooms hopping to pay my visit. Talked crap.

This time, I spent my London days with Samantha. We walked the Oxford Street for Primark, Dorothy Perkins, Next, H&M and Topshop. Samantha was looking for a plus size formal office wear for her childhood neighbor. It was so thoughtful of her.

In between, we sat down at Starbucks for a break and had a really nice chat. And so happened, we found out that we will be seeing each other in London next month again. Together, we are planning to go for a day tour, a musical/ play and to Harrods at Knightsbridge.

One thing that I cannot resist in London, is the English scones. At the Muffin Man, you can smell the fresh and warm buttery scones from far, served with fresh cream and strawberry jam. I am missing it already. Yum...

2008-09-24T15:45:00.003+08:00

In this progress...

I was taught how to scream.
I was taught how to shout.
I was taught how to throw things.
I was taught how to punch.
I was taught how to turn around and walk away.

It is the renovation thing. I mastered the art of tantrums.

"Happiness"

2008-09-21T23:51:00.003+08:00

So, we are discussing about Happiness. I became puzzled when they told me that the most important things in their life is happiness.

I could not figure out what does happiness mean, how do every individual define it. Then they quoted example like, some people can find happiness by buying many new bags. Then they share a little bit about their own happiness.

I am so curious over it till I was reading my other blog. It was just like another reminder, however, it enlightened me so much and it seemed like my level of understanding that happiness is a choice has gone up! And what is making me so happy now is that I knew I have been doing very well by making a happier choice for the past few months... Let alone the details.

However, there are moments that made me felt really happy! Meeting the VB girls for yakking session, playing VB again, chatting on the MSN with my batchies and etc. I felt them because, they were recent. And I do not deny the fact that is, happiness tends to be short. In that case, we shall even create more of such moments....

Yeah... Let's start searching for more happiness!!

2008-09-19T01:59:00.003+08:00

It's Wenda's birthday. We had a great dinner and gathering at Tuk Tuk, Suntec City.

The pondering thing was, every girl's boyfriend was there to pick them up except mine. I made a comment to him. I felt guilty about it but it's a fact, isn't it?

And... it's always gabriel and ying I tagged along. I love you all. Thanks! =)

2008-09-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

I played volleyball again, after so many years.
I am a happy girl now. :)

In FRA and JFK

2008-09-08T21:41:00.002+08:00

By the way, I forgot to mention, I had skin rashes that spreaded from my neck to my body and all the way to my legs and hands... They were patchy red and itchy. Consulted doctor in Frankfurt, took some medication and made my way to New York and back to Frankfurt again. Now it's recovered. I'm so glad.

2ndly, on my second day in New York, while I was about to cross the road to go back to the hotel, this woman stopped me and said, "Hey, I got something for you."
I told her I am not interested. She continued, "I've got something for you that you will be very interested." Still shaking my head. She put her hand into her bag and bring out a piece of paper with some words printed on it. "I am a fortune teller. I see something in you... Call me."

I was still shaking my head while we went seperate ways.

I crushed and threw the paper away.

Back in SIN.

2008-09-08T10:16:00.003+08:00

I am back from New York via Frankfurt. It's been a long one. Changed 3 sets of crews, intro 3x, thanks for the flight 3x. The flights were relatively ok, nothing much to hooha about. The weather was nice, at least when I was there. Had enjoyed the pasta and my favorite yogurt. However, we received shocking Abu Dhabi news. To be jailed there, must be no joke. I wonder if the criminals there will return his crime to him. EEewww...

I couldn't sleep. I set my alarm at 1130hr. If I sleep now, I will still feel tired cause it is dreadful to wake up from not enough of sleep. But if I do not sleep, I will have to try to keep myself awake for the whole bloody day! Partly, also, because of my mum. She made my brain cells so active, till I am so wide awake now! It's like being away for 9 days and had not slept for the past 24 hours and she did this to me. Urgh!

It's going to be a pretty long day. I need to be at my best form to prevent arguments later.

1pm - praying at our house by future MIL.
3pm - Gown fitting, trial make up and selection of photoshoot gowns.
Approx 5pm - Fitting and collection of groom-to-be's suit.
After that - Going to Evov to make payment for the balance. (broke)

I have not seen the house for awhile. I have not been taking care of it. It's all handed to Mr Groom To Be. I washed hands liao. I wonder.... what are the surprises later..

Frankfurt/ New York

2008-08-31T18:57:00.002+08:00

Friday was lousy. Yesterday was good.

Tonight, I will be going away for the whole week. Many weeks before today, I was very reluctant to go but I need to do it for the money. I could feel my soul was not happy and complaining. Maybe because he was away for too long. Maybe I am just too tired.

I have no plan in Frankfurt and New York. If there isn't any LV and gadgets order for my love ones, I would have just stayed in the rooms and sleep as much as I could.

Maybe I just need a breathe of fresh air from a different country. I couldn't wait to come home soon. Bless the week will fly fast....

Busy Friday

2008-08-29T08:52:00.003+08:00

Hello I am back! My day begins from now!!

Too many things waiting to get it done! Many calls to make, to confirm, to buy.

It's the last working day of the week for many collborations and after this, I am going to depart and will be away for the whole of next. It's going to be a busy day!!!! Need some scheduling...

Embrace for busier upcoming days..

好累.

Tired.

2008-08-24T01:00:00.001+08:00

How come I never had sleeps that are so enough to make me feel SHIOK!

I just couldn't get enough. I want to sleep.

Emo-ing

2008-08-21T01:37:00.004+08:00

A few unhappy moments occurred for the past week.

It triggered off on the on the way home in the aircraft. I made an embarrassment mistake in front of a pax and it was someone who sabotaged me but unintentionally. Therefore, I was falsely and badly accused. After all the things that I have done right at the start to complete the unfinished duty of somebody's who did not even want to speak up, it all went to the drain cause everything became me! I could not take it and confronted my supervisor, he made his apologies but my emotions were already overwhelmed by tears.

My off days did not get any better after seeing the progress of the house. I tried my best not to be a difficult owner, however, some things were just not right. I do not want to be requesting to change things all the time, the house will never be completed. Well, anyway, it was already quite badly done. The fact is, the carpenter did make the wrong measurement for the shoe cabinet doors and some workmanship was poor. I do admit, many things were wrongly chosen by us but I see why are there no advices or suggestions from our so-called designer in the first place? We did ask him for opinions many times. I really felt pain. It really takes away many years of life by stopping myself to create a scene.

The chain of unhappy events boosted my EMO even towards minor things that happened after. Like, when I realised I was not kept in the loop... when I realised my phone never received calls anymore..... the same sentence made twice from my mum agitates me and etc.

I seemed drifted and forgotten (yet not forgotten).

Wicked n Faith

2008-08-20T03:14:00.012+08:00

"Don't Wish, Don't Start.
Wishing only wounds the heart."

Say I am shallow. Don't care.
The very first musical I catch in the 4 entire years and numerous visits to London. If not because of the right kaki, I don't think I will watch one ever.

It's called Wicked the Musical.
I enjoyed it very much. So much so that how I wish I can be part of their family. The very beautiful and stunning voices, especially from one of the female lead. A musical like this that moved the hearts of every audience with innocence, cruelty and reality.

"Don't Wish, Don't Start. Wishing only wounds the heart" is from one of the songs lyric. In the musical, it is describing the feelings of how a woman is hoping the love to come back and yet it is so hurtful to believe it will not come true.

This phrase relates to too many hearts, too many matters.
My wedding, I know I will be pampered and not want to be pampered. Do you get me?
Have faith!

Hi there =)

2008-08-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

Hello!! Greetings from London.

The Supper.

2008-08-14T03:41:00.008+08:00

How long ago was it? On a weekday night, at Jalan Kayu, eating supper and chat till 0230hr the next day. I was amazed to see the usual Roti Prata shop was renovated and revamped. That proves it's has been a while...

Not many people but I still consider it a big crowd as chances like this are becoming rare. Except for Cong, I have not met some of them for a few months and some of than more than half a year. It's such great pleasure to be seeing them again. We talked about the same old stuffs, the interesting encounter with weird neighbour, house purchasing regulation, ERPs (a famous topic nowadays), Jiawei's gf and my bf, fortune telling, old school days fellows... And not forgetting Junie and her life in Beijing and more....

See how everyone is concentrating on her... haha...

It was a good evening, till we realised it was getting late. Least that we expected was the night became eventful after we left the prata shop. Ah hui had his pick-up lights on for that few hours... and it died on him.

We made an attempt to kick start the car by pushing it. Yes, it's me, junie and zhixiong but the pick-up just did not come alive. Ha. All ah hui could do is left the car behind and return in the morning with his father... keke...

Oh... Ah hui has applied a flat with his long run girlfriend! That's a pretty good news. Another couple after me. I am so happy. I am not alone. Keke...

Back track to conversations at prata shop. Junie asked all of us, if there is a choice, would we like sudden death or given a notice period to death? All except her chosen sudden death. She just wants to be notify, even though she is going to be so weak, she just wants to be notify how much time left she has. Like Zhixiong said, the only bad thing about sudden death is one is not given a chance to say goodbye to the love ones.. and that's so true.

It reminded me of this stewardess who passed away during the SQ6 accident. Her bag was found and they also found a letter in it. It is a letter which she wrote to bid goodbye to her love ones. I was not sure when was it written but it seemed she kept it with her with an intention, just in case she met a misfortune one day, she gave herself a chance to let people around hear what she had got to say.

Perhaps, I will need to write one too. I told them I will write each and everyone's name. They did not think that I will pen their name but keeping it general like, "Bye friends!" Ah hui quoted a rather funny one,

"Bye! You know who you are! (See you soon!)"

Muahaha.... I shall leave the bracketed part out.

Ok... I do not think this is good to discuss about especially during this month of the year. Anyway, it's just for fun. (Please forgive us.) hehe..... Hope you do not find this post too scary. Ha.

I have an urge to organise a class gathering again. Itchy hands.
Also, I am looking forward to another supper session soon.... Our chemistry never ends... =)

Night world...

Love Cheerful Babies!!

2008-08-13T01:02:00.012+08:00

Aunty Ivy misses her grandson after not seeing him for almost 2 months. And so is baby Shaun. He smiled with mouth wide open the moment he saw his Popo. I was assigned to have him on my lap during the car ride.

Baby Shaun was so happy to out. He ran like other children once hands were released. Babysitting Shaun was such simple task. He smiles and laughs so easily. I think there are no other baby in the world who is so well behaved like him. We did not even hear a single cry from him throughout the whole day ok! He did not cry for his mum . He just place his hand over his little private area when diaper is no longer comfortable to wear. When we were trying cheongsum, he did not get bored but happily moving around us.

During dinner, he just sat there and played by himself. He does not suck his food but chewed very quickly when he was fed! In the car, he sat quietly watching the road. He will go "Ba! Ba!" whenever he saw a bus.

He loves to smile and laughs so easily. Cheerful babies are the most adorable.

I was totally impressed.
I love baby like him!

Shaun Shaun!!!

Over the Heels.

2008-08-03T03:51:00.002+08:00

I need a new pair of.... HEELS!

Yes, it's for my wedding! I am not overly excited, it was my designer who requested it so as to make a perfect length for my gowns!

It has really been a while since I last wore one on a casual day. Heels were once my favorite as friends around me are mostly taller, as when I start dating the tall bf, and I always thought heels made me look tall and slender. It was ever since pumps, flats and sandals like Birkenstock become a trend, they become so comfortable especially after a long walk from Singapore to London and/or vice versa.

Today, I felt awkward wearing heels on casual days, it felt so over-dressed and flashy in a pair. I ever bought a few pairs thinking that they would make me look more feminine, in the end, they were just dying pairs in the boxes. The thought of those heels peeling my skin from the back of my ankle, swelling my tiniest toes and balancing myself on the concrete paves always gave me a second thought of putting them on. I want to be comfortable wherever I go, and not in the mid of shopping letting the ugly plasters to reveal all over my feet and spoil the day.

I understand, how a pair of heels can make a woman look more elegant and sexier while pumps tend to give a sweeter look. Perhaps, I must really consider putting one on soon before I have forgotten how to walk gracefully in heels.

Active at Night

2008-08-02T06:54:00.002+08:00

Because I am so caught up with the love nest,
Because I need to get ready for my next preparation,
Because I want to spend time with him,
Because I do not want to be drifted away from my friends,
Because I have to spare a thought for them,

it has recently been only until night, I find some personal time to slack my life watching YouTube, reading blogs, catching up on Facebook, participating in forums, performing transactions, checking my emails, organising my notes and many. And last night, without any disturbance and hurried, it dragged till just.

Good night, folks.

Simple Friday.Baby Danielle

2008-08-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

A simple day with some simple indulgence and a simple dinner with close friends including my first attempt with Baby Danielle.

It's me, cong and the family of 3+1. It's Kokliang and Tingting's maid who is hired to take care of the house and Baby Danielle.

Baby Danielle kept moving, these are the best captured with the pathetic 3mgp mobile camera.

She has big round eyes, chubby cheeks, such adorable curly hair, so pretty like mum and always trying to be funny like dad.
She cannot sit still but she's always smiley. She did not even make a single cry. I love baby like her. And what's more... she has dimples on both cheeks!! So gorgeous!! When me and ting ting gossiped and laughed over that funny stranger... she laughed so happily and loudly with us too!!! She's so fun to play with!!!

2008-07-30T12:45:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, I realise, I am not that independent after all. I have a mum who wants to get involved in everything and that is REALLY GETTING ONTO MY NERVES!

I want to chase her out of all these. But HOW?! She is REALLY GETTING ONTO MY NERVES!! That's why I do not like to tell her things, even when she asked, I felt so stumbled with words. Can she not get involved? Why can't she just sit there and watch the going? What are her worries?

Don't tell me she's just being concern. I do not deem it as concern. I see it as making me like what she fancy.

Don't come near me please. I plead.

I want to be Alone.

2008-07-30T01:35:00.001+08:00

I was dead beat. I just want to go home. I am so lazy. It's ok if I do not get to see him for the evening. Mummy birthday dinner can do tomorrow. I just feel like being alone.

I cannot remember the last time I couched in the sofa, in front of the TV, watching Channel 8 programme from 7pm -10pm in Singapore. Nobody else was at home. He was playing basketball. There was nothing but only the sound coming from the TV.

It's SUCH A HEAVEN!!!

Last Peep.

2008-07-29T02:13:00.005+08:00

Here's a last peek-a-boo for the Janelleisms....

What an oversize one...

Said before, the pink sash WILL GO!
The FLABBY ARMS will go!!
This gown definitely need altered to MY SIZE!!
I need more than an inch of HEELS!

2008-07-24T03:55:00.002+08:00

眼泪知道

云在走雨在飘
好多悲伤在风中笑
心在烧泪在掉
你的背叛没有人知道
说爱我好不好
就当作是乞讨
哪怕说出口只需要一秒
你都不要
我的痛像把刀
血在流看得到
你却在她怀抱
微笑
如果连自尊都已经不再需要
这个世界什么爱你买不到
天真全都可以倒掉
海誓山盟变成一种玩笑
如果连誓言都已经不再重要
还有什么事值得你去骄傲
所有承诺随风燃烧
给你的爱已经停止心跳
你可知道
给你的爱已经无路可逃
眼泪知道

沒關係/梁文音&張宇

My Saturday

2008-07-20T23:16:00.004+08:00

He was going to depart at night, in the day, we went around looking for furniture. The ultimate intention was to purchase that very nice coffee table, in my opinion. We saw it before at this shop called Objet. So far, we have not seen any coffee table that beat our liking of that, hence we made a trip down wanting to place our deposit. Proudly we walked into the shop as very potential buyer till then we realised it is going to cost us $1696!!! Damn disappointed!! I have the urge to splurge on it when this thinking came into my mind. "A miu miu bag had already cost me the same!" Urgh! We did not really expect that kind of price tag because their sofas were priced very reasonably. Urgh!

In the end, we bought two bean bags for our entertainment area from Molecule at Great World City which cost us almost $400. =s

Attended a wedding dinner in the evening. Nice ballroom at Marriot. The groom made a very humorous yet touching speech for the 9.5 years of relationship. I would have cried like the bride if I am her.

A very short and sweet session with VB girls after that. Yeah, finally someone sending "Xi" news after me. Congrats to Qing. I am very sure she has made a wise decision.

She was also telling us about her encounter with this fortune teller from India who was able to tell about your past and future very accurately. The Indian believes that everyone has a Nadi(?) Leaf that belong to each of us. And these leaves were found out to be written by this decipher 2500 years ago. Your leaf will read your past and future and from the leaf, the fortune teller could even read out your parent's name, partner's name and even secrets that not even your closest friends know!! We had goosebumps after hearing what Qing shared with us about her session. Eewww... It's freaky.

All VB girls are going to be my Jiemeis on my wedding day. I am so glad to see that they are overwhelmed. And most already had very good experiences as jiemeis. They seemed to be more aware of what's going to happen on that day than me. I am already feeling like a happy bride. I know I am in good hands. Please be pretty Jiemeis... But do not be prettier than me... =p

It's a blessing. I want more of such yakking at coffee table.

Focus Switched.

2008-07-12T00:42:00.000+08:00

The renovation has drained me. The experience was yucks! And it is still many weeks to completion and handover.

Next, would be my wedding. Much said about my bridal shop. We do not want to fight for our rights. In return, they will not expect to gain much profit from us either.

What have I been looking into:-

1) Wedding Favor

2) Flowers

3) Sisters' Dress (color, uniform or not?)

Any inputs from anyone?

What if I quit?

2008-07-08T00:08:00.003+08:00

If I am going to quit flying, one thing that I will really miss is SHOPPING!!! Most things in Singapore are imported, but most countries will keep exclusivity to their locals and also a strategy to attract more tourists. And, flying allows me to purchase them without paying the airfare! I know I am fortunate de.. *beaming in the eyes*

Now that I am going to have my own house, the furniture and household shops became a must-enter. So far, we have bought the master bedroom lamp from UK, dining lamp from Japan; Franc Franc, one of our favorites.

My recent trip to Narita, I bought 3 cushions, 3 cushion cases, 2 innovative accessories, that allows you to hang on the plus and rest your handphone/ipod/etc on while they charge, 6 table mats and 2 tea mats. The only sad thing in Japan was they do not do shipping to other countries which forbidden us to ship a set of sofa back.

No clothing for myself, but I bought a super cute dress and polo tee at 30% discount for my niece and nephew respectively. I felt so happy with the 2 purchase, that is what making beginning to miss flying if I am going to quit cause I want to buy these pretty little dresses and charming little tees for my children!! Keke... Am I thinking too much? But they are really worth splurging especially when they are on SALES, anyway children clothes locally are not cheap.

I am missing my friends. I have a habit of calling one or two whenever I felt like during their peak hour and asked them what are they doing just because I have nothing better to do or when I really feel like talking to someone.

Actually, our life is Free and Easy. Being away, I recharged. If if, there is no renovation, no wedding preparation, no commitment, i can't imagine how shiok my life would be.

What happens if I quit?

Supposedly so.

2008-07-04T05:01:00.004+08:00

I couldn't get to sleep. I have planned the Friday day for myself since he will only be back by evening. But, I couldn't get to sleep. What's contained in my mind, the tv feature, the sofas and the wedding and evening gown. I log on again, just wanted to understand the shortlisted sofas better.

Is this how it works? Using up whatever energy I can attain?

He's waking up in another 40minutes.

So...

2008-07-02T12:22:00.006+08:00

My life till date, I have made many impulsive decisions and I am still making them. Lessons were never learnt.

I cannot hold back my envious when seeing how other girls have given themselves a chance to make beautiful gowns with renowned bridal shop despite they are slightly pricier than the general ones. Even though, they paid more, but not only for quality gowns, also for very professional team of tailors, coordinators, make up artists and photographers that pampered them like a princess. How would one regret paying this much for the premium? I may have spent lesser but I paid for something that I cannot be satisfied with, in the end the money will still go to drain.

I avoided the forum. It made me feel sadder to read how other sufferer like me, self consoling.

One example quoted.

"dont worry, everything will turn out to be fine. it doesn't matter you
hold their payment or not, because if their service is bad means bad.

just shoot the picture, whatever it is going to turn out so be
it..eventually your album is going to be cast aside after the wedding.

i dun like my album too, find their shoots, way of taking picture so
old fashion but who cares? i can always get a better photographer to
take our anniversary photo shoots...with or without gowns.."

Don't you feel sad reading it? Of cause, I care alot about how the PS will turn out, how the service is good to make me a happier bride, giving me less woes, helping me to make a beautiful dream comes true.

The only thing that I totally do not care about is if the album will be cast aside collecting dust in future.

If I made my decision right at the first time, then we will not worry about the bad service that everyone is talking about, even not thinking so far to looking for a better photographer to take for our anniversary, especially when one woman looks most beautiful on the wedding day.

Nothing is making myself feeling better...

Movies.

2008-06-29T17:53:00.002+08:00

Get Smart is a total hilarious movie. It gets onto your nerves yet exciting and so funny!! Perhaps you want to consider to give Zohan a miss unless you want to imagine orgasm the next visit to your hair stylist.

His way of love talk.

2008-06-26T21:05:00.006+08:00

On the day I was going to depart from London to Singapore, I was pondering if I should exchange the lamp. I logged on to ask for opinions. And mr bf happened to log on from Osaka.

Bf: Dear
Me: Dear..
Bf: What are you doing?
Me: Do you think I should go back to change the lamp?
Bf: Y?
Me: Suddenly, I don't like the lamp.
Bf: .....
Bf: Will you suddenly don't love me?

I don't remember responding to this. I simply treated it as nonsense. I carried on with my thoughts of if I should climb out of bed to make the change which in the end, I didn't.

Bleh.

in London again.

2008-06-25T03:28:00.012+08:00

At this time of the year, the weather is really nice in London. We stay at a hotel near High Street Kensington which is really convenient. Marks and Spencer, H&M, Boots stores, the underground are just less than 5 minute away. The Bugis brasserie within the the hotel serves pretty good Singapore dishes. These are good enough to reason why my days were normally laid back here.

This trip I was imposed a mission. That is look for the Next store. It has 500 over stores in the whole UK. Just along Oxford Street itself, there are 4-5 Next stores!!

Before that, I went to Primark with Kristen. So from High Street Kensington, we took the tube to Marble Arch Station. Primark is like UniQlo in Japan but they have a wider range of clothings for women, men and children and also they sell household products and accessories too.

It is always crowded and messy. We started from the 2nd floor. Let's review what I have gotten. 1 pair of earring, 2 bracelets, 7 pairs of trainer socks that comes in a pack, a set of super soft towels including 2 face cloths, 2 hand towels and 2 bath towels. Also another ultra soft bath towel for him. It is not the end yet, I threw in a SHOWER CURTAIN, 5 tank tops of various colors, 1 super bright orange jump suit and a long sleeved top. I think that was about it. Total damage is 42pounds! =) It's quite a steal ya!

Next would be next. I thought I really have to walk into all Next stores along Oxford Street to find the one that sell homeware. "Why don't you just ask when you went into the first store?" Mr Bf snapped at my silliness again. "Oh yah hor..." I even replied.

Therefore, I approached the person in the first Next. Ok, I got the directions. It's at Tottenham Court Rd. My mind kept directing me to Oxford Circus, Oxford Circus and I thought Oxford Circus, being two stations away from Marble Arch, it should not be too far away... thus, I decided to walk since weather is so damn nice.
Before I could reach, something caught my attention at Selfridges entrance.
They were mostly designer pieces which cost minimum of 300pounds! Or I could do is to admire and be inspired. Haha... Happily, I continued heading for the lamp he saw it in Manchester where it was out of stock.

The walk has become dreadful on the sunny Tuesday afternoon. Finally, I arrived at Oxford Circus. It felt so good seeing the arrow pointing to Tottenham Courts Rd. It gave me a little more positive vibes to know I am nearing Next.

Never did I realise, Oxford Street is so long that Tottenham Court Road is till about 15 minutes away. The most agitating part is there is actually another tube station at Tottenham Court Road! Urgh! I felt so much like a fool.

When I finally got there...

and the 40pounds purchase... another steal but definitely not as eye catching as designer pieces.
I have problem zipping up the mamasan bag. I decided to leave it as it is.

My bag was packed and waiting for departure. Just had a yakking session with batchies over the msn. So sad I could not catch up with them back home.

Suddenly, I felt light hearted without any reasons. Once again it's me from London!
Good night world!

p/s: did I tell you that all scones from M&S are yummy?

hers.

2008-06-24T14:20:00.004+08:00

"我仍然堅持
智慧讓人跨越平凡。。語言教我什麼叫包容。。"
negi

it ain't heaven

2008-06-22T03:43:00.005+08:00

Why is everyone telling me that it is really exciting during the progress of renovating the house? It seemed more trouble to me. Decisions and decisions. There seemed so many decisions to make. And when I thought it has been settled and done with, then I realised that he had some concern, we had to start looking through, thinking hard and changing it again!

I told him earlier yesterday, I have no expectation of our house any longer because I really do not know what to expect. We have done too many changes and the worst is we are not even sure of what we want while we just kept changing... plus... none of us are able to assure one another, both of us are as fickle! Perhaps it is a good thing for me, less expectation = less disappointment! That very "encouraging" him would pinch me by saying things like "we should have this.. we should have that... " Eh... Hello hello... I have persuaded myself hard enough not to think about what we could have done, please do not stir in anymore ok.

Yesterday, we met for the first and only day after 1 whole week of missing each other. It was burnt for visiting like 5-7 furniture warehouse in the afternoon and had a meeting with our ID in the evening. I thought the day would end after a very funny Get Smart movie, yet he came up at 2am after a coffee session with his friend, and we continued the discussion again.

My body is already giving me red alert. I was sick and still a step away from recovering. Give it back to me. I need it for the go.

goodbye

2008-06-15T23:07:00.005+08:00

We met a few times in the lift. We may not have spoken. I was still shock to hear about your leave.

Your love ones will be good. May you rest in peace.

So this is what happened...

2008-06-09T13:47:00.004+08:00

Seeing my wedding date is nearing, I am getting more worried over my complexion and my uneven set of teeth. I was recommended many many dermatologist and aesthetician. I have decided to go back to Derma Rx to see Dr SK Tan whom I once visited almost 2 years back. Appointment made. I am so looking forward to see him soon!

I am the lazy sort. I have not wore my retainer ever since I removed my braces. I did not like it as it was so uncomfortable and inconvenient. Before I removed my wisdom teeth, their growth were making the condition worse.

Last night, I have a cranky idea of wearing my retainer again. The shape does not fit my upper set of teeth nicely any longer. It kept popping out that I have to use force to cap my upper row of teeth. With it, I went to sleep hoping miracle will happen. I still put on with the uncomfortable this morning till finally I could not take it anymore, I removed it. Shockingly, I see spots of red in the retainer. Immediately, I rinsed my mouth. Now my teeth on the upper row felt loose, sensitive and achy. . It's like chewing or munching will make my teeth drop. Eeewks!

My next call, to make an appointment with the dentist!

An accomplished day.

2008-06-04T01:38:00.005+08:00

It's an accomplished day! With the help of the soul in the family- Aunty Ivy. She's never failed to help the family members to find solution. Anyway, thanks a million to her, we solved the layout for the kitchen and I am quite settled with it. In future, a big kitchen would be my top priority when looking for a flat. I did not expect myself to be so particular with it. My new home's kitchen is really too small to have my dream one. I make sure my dream will come true in my next home.

Secondly, I finally found a fridge that has fulfilled most of our requirements! It has the right dimension,scratched-proof stainless steel, tempered glass shelves and a big vegetable compartment! However, it has only 2 ticks on the energy consumption rating. Many salesperson is explaining to us how it was rated and results may very from actual usage. I am one who go for aesthetic finishing, so I shall not let that 2 ticks bother me and shall buy the salespersons words. Most importantly, the fridge meets our requirements and it's Mitsubishi.

Other than my aunty, I had my mum tagging along. The horrible thing that happened was my mum made me tried on some GOLD jewellery! I went OMG, it's so wrong on my wrist! Perhaps it's tradition, but I would rather her have the money for safekeeping. I really really do not see any point for her to spend a few thousand dollars on something that I do not see myself wearing at all. Then she thought I would prefer a Rolex. I asked why not a LV bag then. Cheaper and I will use. keke.....

And... my day ended with sumptuous dinner at Sakura. Lastly, I volunteered myself for work. By doing so, I have my day off on 7th June GUARANTEED!! Yippee!! Jump! Jump!

Things that I am left to do
1) Give Steven the fridge dimension
2) Finalize the kitchen layout with Steven
3) Ask for carpet sample and Alumix wardrobe prices
4) To post COF to give away my Taipei for a Narita to buy the lamp that we fall in love in different occasion.
5) To make a new set of uniform
6) To make dentist appointment
7) Many more......

p/s: One more thing, I felt so blessed to have so many people around fighting to sponsor our home appliances. Thanks. It's sweet dreams tonight. =)

Paris | Mich & Me

2008-05-31T04:41:00.007+08:00

It's gmt +2 in Paris. In the romantic city of France, I received kisses from 2 of my beloved girlfriends over the sms and msn. So sweet. One returning the appreciation and the other showering me with encouragement. I love you all too...

My trip was not lonely after all. Thanks to the free internet access from the room. The technology that brings me closer to home. Coincidentally, Michelle found out that I am in Paris too! She's so nice to come over to my room even though she is departing later. It's really nice to see her again. We had a bottle of rose wine for the small get together. I have heard about what had happened to her. However, our conversation did not consist about the past, it is all about now and future. Somehow, the older we grow, the more experience we gain, the more positve we are, the conversation tends to be more meaningful..

Cheers from us in our pjs.

So... I am getting married!?!?

2008-05-29T02:46:00.008+08:00

I was reading the blog of our wedding and renovation, it lifted my eyes when I noticed that it is about 7 months left to my big day!!! I remembered when I set up the countdown ticker, we still have more than a year. Time flashes in split seconds. It reminded me that I am soon stepping into the married life. That very first feeling gushing from within was I AM FRIGHTENED!!!

Suddenly, my shoulder became stiff and my mind froze for 3 seconds. What the H*LL!!

The night before, we had one of the worst fights. It made me want to fight and I fought. But I was not able to withstand his strength. All I could feel was his strong hands holding and hurting my wrists as I was struggling to give him a BIG PUNCH! I retaliated. I sat down and wrapped around myself, sensing him eyes on me while on his chair. I had no idea what to say, what to do next and if I should just take my leave at that hour past midnight...

He did not say anything that hurt me. He was pouring his displeased. I did not blame him. Everyone has the right to get angry. It just gave me a second thought of our future. If it is so much for us now, what if it is into the future?

We pulled through the night when he decided to come and give me a hug. But just last night, we had a small argument over the road directions while looking for a furniture store. We pulled through again. This time, with the help of gaming on Nintendo Wii...

Good night world, once again.

While I am awake

2008-05-26T02:44:00.003+08:00

It's about 15min to 3am and my alarm is set at 5am. For past nights, I only slept then due to jet lag.

It's a blessing to be called up even though it is a shit flight as it created an off day the same as him. That off day is so important as we need it to finalise more details with our ID.

I like how my new blog looks like right now. Cool. It seemed to be replacing what I have missed, in my heart, for the house which cannot be changed anymore.

All I could do is to think of how to make a difference with that common look yet not overboard.

Nothing much to rant about. Just some thoughts that sudden come across my mind.

No one is always protected in this world. Someone cannot be protecting someone forever. Sometimes, one just needs to fight on their own.

Phrase of the day

2008-05-25T00:27:00.002+08:00

"What you are trying to say about me does not tell me about me but about you."

I am back and so on..

2008-05-23T02:58:00.005+08:00

I think, this is going to be the only States trip that I will spend the least despite of the Nintendo Wii. That's good. However, I did make and receive a few overseas calls to ying and from my ID respectively.

Coming home is good. One day, I should just spend the whole day at home to feel familiar with my house, my room and my parents again. I felt like I have left for so long including the holiday trip.

Yesterday, we met up and sat at Ya Kun after dinner just to discuss some final and yet-to-be final details. Thinking hard while tired mentally and physically. After that, a short while at grandma's place to see her, at the same time visiting the aunts and uncles also celebrated cousin Gabie's birthday. Poor Gabie, she called my mum and aunts to go over in the evening and bought a cake, just to arrange the celebration for herself. I felt so sad for this lonely child. I need to get something for her.

Today, we met our designer and had a discussion for nearly 2.5 hours. Our meetings never get any shorter than this. Had dinner at IMM in the evening, thereafter we went around seeing mattresses and furniture.

He helped us to fix the Wii at home. Me and my mum had some fun time playing. Wii Sport comes along with the set and simply love the boxing game. I had a good sweat and my arms are really aching now.

Dinner with Ni tomorrow. Planning to go Dempsey. Perhaps a drink with Zab and company after that.

Right now, I need to think about the floor tiles. The fickle minded me still cannot decide whether I like it white, serene but normal or a black, cool but dark one for the house.

Not much time left.

Before I end it, I would like to pray for all victims affected by the China Earthquake and Myanmar Cyclone. With that, I see world peace. And please, let it not be seen only when disasters happened.

Good night world.

Busy Bee.

2008-05-04T04:20:00.005+08:00

So far, my one and a half day in Singapore had devoted to the renovation. It's more than just tiring when we still have to keep visualizing without examples or picture, lacking of sleep. Even before we depart for our Hokkaido trip later, there is one appointment with our contractor.

Bag unpacked yet. I am not even aware what is the itenary for the trip. Everything is so last minute. Have not felt excited yet.

It's half past four on the sunday morning now. Still flipping magazines and browsing the website to steal ideas.

Help!

I am craving for a very chilled beer and maybe a stick of cigarette sounds good too.
Btw, I will be back on the 10th. Text me if u miss me. Ha.

No good.

2008-05-03T02:33:00.001+08:00

The 3D drawing is such a disappointment. =(

Facebook and friends

2008-04-30T21:10:00.003+08:00

I hardly sign in to Facebook. Only at times when I have new photos to upload or new friends request to approve. Since, the internet has been paid for and I have nothing much to do, I took some time to browse through my own profile, it was a little surprise that I have received quite a fair bit of growing gifts and some come with little sweet messages. They have been there for so many month and I only noticed them today. Thank you friends.

It could be a coincident, I have two pisces friends complaining to me that they are fat and two cancerian threatening me to delete their ugly photos from the facebook within these 2 days. What's wrong with them? =p

Can't wait to go back to Singapore and get the house things done. It's been so long already.

2008-04-27T17:44:00.002+08:00

SNEAK preview tends to be exciting. It started boring but eventually we are getting so much fun!!
Yeah... Just the 2 of us and other kei lei fei...

Not So Easy

2008-04-22T01:09:00.003+08:00

My mind is so occupied with my house renovation. It just cannot stop working. What color should I paint? How I want my kitchen layout? Where can I place the lighting? etc. Am I not trusting my designer enough? Or do I have really too much to think about? Why can't I just sit back and relax and make the money paid for worth while?

House renovation is not so easy. Needless to say about designing. Even choosing tiles, the lighting, hob and hood, wc and basin, kitchen sink and tap, water storage heater, toilet accessories, furniture, etc is 一门学问. It also incurred financial worries when it tends to over budget.

These IDs, they almost devote their everyday to irritating house owner like us. I simply pity them for the little time spent with their own family. It makes me wonder about their woes.

To see more challenges.

2008-04-21T01:14:00.001+08:00

It's not so happy after all....

2 happy things.

2008-04-20T01:12:00.012+08:00

I received a belated birthday gift today. *smilez*

It's a long waited mikimoto signature pen. It has an alphabet "J" and comes with a Mikimoto pearl. There was no stock in Singapore. He got it for me as a belated gift during his trip to Kansai. =)

Being a good sales person is to being able to give constructive advice and advices that can create an impact in one's mind to trust you. The next happy thing is we have final our tiles selection and thanks very much to that pretty and knowledgeable sales girl for her excellent service whom we realised, she was the assistant sales manager. We are so comfortable with her and the feeling was so certain after we stepped out of the shop. I felt so happy. =)

Just an Update.

2008-04-17T09:55:00.004+08:00

Guess what have I been doing? I have been very active in Renotalk. It has become one of the favorite past time. In Renotalk, I read about other's renovation process, listening to their joys and woes, admiring their beautiful home, chatting and stirring away and getting to know new neighbour in advance!

It has not been easy to come to the stage of selecting tiles and begin with the renovation proper. After all the heated arguments, it's strange how it has come to a still. Is it true that every couple will go through it? It seemed like it's a test to every couple by the god. It's been so much efforts and emphasizes, all that we wish for is a beautiful home that exclusively belong to ours.

Anyway, new roster is out! Looking at it, my damage made in Seoul and US should be able to cover. *grin* I want to go back to Seoul to buy my Han Skin BB cream and skin care products. Also, all the pretty cosmetic products.

Roster clashing is not new. Lately, it made me felt agitated because we desperately need time together for our house and wedding. I do felt lonely. That is also very much because none of my friends are free to keep me occupied on days that I am so available. Why do people always start calling only on the days I am busy leh?

I will be going Hokkaido for holiday in 4-10May!! It's a break before I gear up for all upcoming challenges!

Embrace!

2008-04-05T01:05:00.003+08:00

Often, we will make some good friend just for the day or 2. How many times we exchanged number with one another,but never we did keep in touch again. There is no obligation. Mutually, we understood. This is because at that time there were only you. At that time, our other colleagues are not around. At that time, our closed friends are still at work. At that time, god brought us together.

As both of our appointments were at 7pm, hence we accompanied one another in town till the time to split. May we meet again.

I was left alone for awhile.

呼吸里带着无奈。
有一种说不出的孤单，却也非常了解那是为了大家都好。

其实一个人的生活也不算太坏。偶尔有些小小的悲哀，我想别人也看不出来。其实孤单会使我伤怀，也会试着让自己更想得开。

2008-04-03T21:16:00.003+08:00

突然它生病了，就象得了肿瘤。
如果去看医生，就能保证它能完全康复吗？
当然，可以将情况好转的话，又何乐而不为呢？
但是，治疗过程也一定会痛，往往会让人想放弃。

肿瘤始终都是肿瘤，无论良或恶性。很多时候它会扩散，而不会缩小。
那又何必医呢？

A few words to You (all).

2008-03-29T03:59:00.003+08:00

It's the day of the year again, or should I say it's the moment of the year again. A happiness that came so naturally. The moment that made me felt so blessed and loved.

Despite that I always forget your birthday, despite that you are being make fun of, despite that you are taken for granted, despite that you have been bullied by me sometimes, despite that I make you do what I say, you never forget the day. You will be there, even not so, you never fail to let me hear from you.

I may have neglected you but I have placed you in my heart if you are not aware, cos I know you are my friends for life. Thank you for always being there, making me a happier and stronger person. Thank you for the love. I love you too.

May our journey continues.

2 frogs 2 frogs jump into the water jump into the water doom doom.... Jellyfish ah jellyfish...

Lame.

2008-03-26T04:58:00.001+08:00

It's been brain cracking. I have been browsing through so many homes in renotalk, hoping I could think of something for our home.

I am in London today. Gladeys just touched down in the morning. It's the third time we catch up in London already. It's always heart-warming despite the very cold weather... Grrr.... It was Sydney with Charlene before this and Seoul-San francisco with Zabby in April. Yeah... 途中不再寂寞！！

One last thing. It's almost last day of march! Does it ring a bell?
Wahaha!!!

Smiley face on the tray

2008-03-18T22:04:00.005+08:00

One day, me and ah hui waited for the rest at Ya Kun.
He ordered the drinks and came back with a tray.
We took our own drinks off the tray.
Then Ah Hui exclaimed, "Eh... Smiley face!"
Me,"Take picture!"

the new neighbors

2008-03-17T01:13:00.002+08:00

It's really interesting to meet new neighbors through a forum. Surprisingly friendly. They welcomed me to their cluster, some called it clan. Haha... I noticed that they are really organizing mini gatherings. So much more to expect.

I am glad.

2008-03-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

I thought it almost cannot make it. But we pulled through the day.

It will be a smooth day.

2008-03-15T13:26:00.003+08:00

It's going to be another busy day.
I pray that it will be smooth day and there are no quarrels, no arguments and no different opinions for us.

Reward? A treat to the concert tonight.

Busy.

2008-03-10T03:44:00.005+08:00

embracing for a long day.... appointments after another.
1 Renovation firm and 3 videographers.
Look forward to the dinner in the night.
May it be a good day.

2008-03-09T09:17:00.001+08:00

I'm home.

2008-03-08T03:37:00.003+08:00

"Just follow your heart" is something that is so difficult for me, which I do not no why either. Everyone has different favorites in their hearts, how can we make ourself happy when decision has to be made between 2 people? So whose heart should we exactly follow?

I am beaten. By myself. One truly doesn't know what she wants in life. One who just follow what is being lead on. Reacting to situation with no direction and pointlessly. One who always feels ashamed of herself.

I can't wait to go home anyway. To attend all appointments that have been fixed. To get all discussions done. To have someone who can help. To have someone who can provide the answers. To get things done. I am awkwardly nervous. I am hating it yet wanting so much of it.

I'm confused. I can't wait to go home anyway.

All heated up.

2008-03-07T03:24:00.001+08:00

Arguments are inevitable. But too much is difficult to digest.
It makes people think twice.

it's up again.

2008-03-06T19:26:00.007+08:00

Since I have started it, might as well I continue with it.
Yes, it's up again...

Read http://whenweleastexpectedit.blogspot.com/ for more of our wedding preparations and house renovation. Hehe....

AND... I will still update this blog!

Ahh!!! It's Party Time!!!

2008-03-03T17:28:00.012+08:00

Venue: Butter Factory
Time: 11pm
Date: 1st March 08

Moet, Vodka Cranberry, Gin Tonic, Countless Tequila Shots and Pops!
Girlfriends and boyfriends club...
Danced away....

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt

2008-03-01T16:42:00.003+08:00

Today, my mood is like the weather. Raining and gloomy.

Anyway, I came across this while reading Tommy Leong's photo diary. You must be pondering like me if you would have read it. If you have not, it's what I want to share below:

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.
You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin! "

I met him in person today. Nice chap. Friendly and reasonable pricing also. I have decided to give Tsangstudios a miss. Now I have to choose between Eulee and Tommy. They are both good. Please give me some time.

Will tomorrow be happy again.

Random updates

2008-02-27T23:59:00.003+08:00

It was scotching hot this afternoon. Anyway, we went to Evov Living at siglap to look at their furniture. The furniture are designed and manufactured by designers at Evov, meaning we could customize our furniture to scale!! Yeah!!

After that, we met up with Eulee from Photography by Eulee at his studio in a walk up apartment at Haig Rd. The first photographer who took initiative to go through details with us. Not that the rest do not but only with me leading them the questions.

Ok. After meeting 4 photographers, I like Eulee the best. Even the bf finds him friendly. His pricing is also alot reasonable, maybe the difference is between $1k -$1.5k. The pictures taken are pretty well taken too. This coming Sat, I will be meeting 2 other guys who charge similar. They would be www.tsangstudios.com and www.tommyleong.com.

Pick up at 5am later. I set my alarm at 3:30am.
Good night world, again.

Recent and Past

2008-02-25T22:06:00.005+08:00

There is only one word to describe about me for the recent and past few days. Tired.
I fell asleep easily. I am tired till I have no energy to get emotional. I have forgotten how to be angry, how to be sad and how to be happy.

So what's happening to me lately?
The 3 off days after my long flight were spent to visit interior design firms for our house, photography studios to look at portfolios for our actual wedding. I have also gone to Yvonne Creative for the first time and tried own some gowns and evening gowns. It was ok. I am glad I have Evelyn to accompany me to watch CJ-7, at least.

It was last minute. I managed to change a flight to Melbourne to see my cousin. He was wearing that big vintage aviation sunglasses, loud blue jacket over a long sleeve shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans with a pair of white sneakers. He had a hangover the night before but still sweet to go shopping with me. He was telling me that the average income for the Aussies are high. You probably get AUD$7 per hour to work in Macdonald's. AUD$12 per hour to work as a waiter in a pub, AUD$22 per hour as a part time customer service officer. You could easily get AUD$3k per month. He also told me that many foreigners (esp the girls) applied PR and do not mind working as a waitress because of the good pay and the take-it-easy lifestyle. My cousin is hungry for a good career, however he is also in the process of applying as a PR over there.
Well, I'm not sure but if my parents had spent so much money to send me over, I guess I would return to my hometown for good and make good use of the paper.

Ok. We finally see each other. It had been a busy get together for us. Yesterday at the Expo, we had a tiring 4 hours repeating the same things and listening to almost the same things from 4 different interior designing firms. By the time we were at the last booth, I was dead beat.
In the night, we went KTV with friends at Loyang. Never did anyone expect that there would be a sudden electrical failure into almost 3 hours of singing. Guess what? We need not pay a single cent. They do not want to accept even cash payments. For the first time, we sang free. All saved up! :)
Before lights off, we took out a checklist done by me for our wedding. We were then discussing about the "Guo Da Li" issue. It was a sweet day for us after all.

Today, we spent a little quality afternoon having our breakfast. After that, we were off to see more IDs again. Till date, we would be expecting 6 quotations. That's more than enough already.

Just only, she msn me that she had made a life changing decision today. I did not really felt it at first. Gradually, I began to realise how much passion and efforts had been involved. It's a matter of adpating to what you will lose and giving yourself more opportunities to glow in other areas. All the best Ni!

Ok, I really do not know what I am typing now. I need to sleep very much.

Good night world.

my partial dream home.

2008-02-20T04:19:00.003+08:00

I would like it to be sophisticated yet with some elements of fun. A little bit naughty, a little bit wild, a little vintage to satisfy that burning fire within me. Modern contemporary is just too boring.

我不要像你一样。

2008-02-19T14:12:00.004+08:00

你很烦。你真的很烦。你对我只有压力，没有体谅。你好烦！
我不要像你一样。

Hello Moscow.

2008-02-16T00:51:00.003+08:00

Cranky

2008-02-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

When working into late hours, our brain started to get cranky. Some lame and silly jokes were desperately needed to keep ourselves awake.

Question (Q): What is a deer without eyes?

Answer (A): No Idea.

Q: Fine. Then what is a deer without eyes and remains at the same position?

A: Still no idea.

Q: Ok... What is a deer without eyes and remains at the same position having sex with its mate?

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A: Still no Fucking idea!

Duhz.......

Keys to Love Nest

2008-02-04T01:04:00.001+08:00

A lot of you may not know this. We have collected the keys for our new home last month!! Yes, we received a total of 7 pair of keys in 3 sets. That makes up to a bunch of 21 pair of keys!! HDB has even provided us with a huge key pouch for the keys. A little information of our unit. It's a 7 - 8 years flat, but we are the first owner. Oh, location is SENGKANG! Wahaha....

We have started looking around for contractors and interior designers. We were very open to suggestions and ideas as initially, there was no thought of how we should do up our first home. I have also registered ourself to a forum which is all about Renovation. It's called RenoTalk. It came in so E-handy. From there, we picked a few recommended reno firms, gain some knowledge in materials, tiles, what-to-dos, how-to-dos... Some even taught us where we could save on and which part is a must do.

In the mean time, we are still going through our add-to-favorite Home & Deco and Style Living magazines, hoping to stir our creations and agree on the concepts. As CNY is nearing, most reno firms were busy with deadlines, thus ours will kick off shortly after that. However, Adeline from Summit Design manage to come back to us with 2 layouts yesterday. One is before discussion. The other is after discussion. Let's take a quick peep.

Never mind if you do not know what is it all about. Anyway, it's just a draft. Nothing is finalized yet. We are waiting for the quotations now. Hopefully, it's reasonable. Or rather we are reasonable. Keke....

无所事事

2008-02-01T04:09:00.000+08:00

已经很久没有特别深的感触了。。。心情也没有很大的起伏，所以不知道要写些什么。

时间飞逝，一转眼已经是二月了。这整个一月里我到底做了些什么？
我花了好多好多钱，而且都是花在一些不该花的地方。我的省钱大计划就此被我毁灭了。嗨。。。
不过，最近一切还算过得去。没有大起大落。工作方面，我以平常心对待，不去理会是与非，
虽然有时会有点无奈，但只希望这一年半的时间可以快点过。那我就可以拿了钱，然后马上离开。
但是，我要谢谢这份工作，它让我见识了各种不同个性的人类。。让我更清楚了解自己不想做个
什么样的人。

感情世界，是窝心的。是处于甜蜜阶段。可能大家见面的日子少了，自然地吵架的机会也没有。也可能因为大家少见面，就特别想念对方，也更珍惜在一起的时间。我们可以连说话的时间都没有。
打个比方，我今天早上抵新，他今晚就得离开。所以我们见面的时间大部分都在睡觉。还记得那一
天，当他正在准备时，我不停的跟随在他后面，边不停的在跟他说话。他也一点都不觉得厌烦，反而
我到觉得他了在其中。呵呵。。。

对于朋友，我很高兴。因为可以拥有两三位知心的，就非常足够了。。。当你遇到困难时，她们
几句的鼓励是会让你领悟到这世界是充满爱的。。。很欣慰。。。谢谢你们的爱。。。哈哈。。

妈妈永远是不满足的。。。我也厌倦了。老爸的尽心，我看在眼里。是感动的。

接下来的日子，就是为新家而忙，之后便要筹备结婚。2008年，是忙碌的一年。。。

晚安咯！

A happy day.

2008-01-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Farewell dearest Ni. We had really enjoyed the good laugh at Happy Days. All the best to your career and safe trip to wherever you will be.

Met Adeline from Summit Design to view the 2D layout and design for our home. She did have given some good suggestion for cost savings on our home. Everything sounds pretty alright but yet to get things started. The whole idea of renovating a house can be a stress especially for a fickle minded like me. Well, at least we got the skeleton today. Happie.

The Prince is currently enjoying himself in Amsterdam. He saw this hilarious knives set and took a picture of it. He asked if I want to buy it. Knowing him, he will not ask if he has not find it interesting, it's all because that thing will cost him 125euros. Hmmm... We are not sure if it is selling in Singapore. One of his friend said he saw it selling at 200 aud in Perth. I thought it will be quite cool to have it in our kitchen.

Well... shall leave the decision to him. ;p

when we age together....

2008-01-30T01:18:00.001+08:00

errr.... where's me???

思念他。

2008-01-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

因为那神奇的网路，我看到了你的轮廓。
因为可以对着你说，对着你笑，心情自然而然愉快起来。

每当要挂断时，还真有点依依不舍。
那天你 msn 打趣地问， “你的不是瞎了，你的 dear dear 不就在这里吗？”
实在是让我顿了一下。你是什么时候学会如此甜言蜜语？
但，我是开心的。因为我听到了真实，我听到了诚恳，虽然是在逗趣，我听到你在安抚我那不定的一颗心。谢谢你的爱。。。。哈哈。。

这神奇的网路，在未来的日子里，是否可以发展到可以让我象贞子一样，让人类穿过那电脑荧幕呢？
或者只要可以升过那双手，让我轻抚他圆圆的脸，宽宽的胸膛和胖嘟嘟的大肚腩，就心满一足了。。。

明晚，我们就在空中察肩而过吧。。。

Sick | Splurge | Save

2008-01-23T10:48:00.000+08:00

I am down with a bad throat. It was so bad that I could only whisper on the first two days of attack. Doctor said "Wow, very red, very swollen!" It is the 2nd day of MC but my voice is still husky. Thanks to the super salty Fried Rice and the -11 degrees weather in Beijing.

Accompanied my mum, auntie and grandmother to Chinatown for dim sum yesterday. We then went to the Pearl's market for a little shopping. I was hoping to find new clothes for the coming CNY but to no avail. Instead, I set my eyes on a bag. Fatal. I always want to splurge on a LV thinking it will last a long way but my heart has a soft spot for any beautiful bags- Floral with gold metal finishing.

My prince is off to Kansai this morning, the place where we both enjoyed very much. So jealous. How nice if I could be there too.... The crepe, the chestnut cream puff, the cheesecake, anna sui, samatha theseva...

Saving up is my top priority. I could easily spend $50 bucks in watsons. Just because it was still early in the evening, I decided to go for a walk. I lost count how many times I went into watsons and came out of it. Successfully, I paid not a single cent. =)

just indulge.

2008-01-18T02:32:00.000+08:00

I did my first eyebrow embroidery about 3 weeks back. It was so black on the very day that I remembered Meiyan even called to ask what had happened to it when she bumped onto me on the street. My mum was not able to accept as she thought the fact would be what it was. Hur... . The layer began to scale and peel after a few days with the shape still there but the color was so light that I still need to literally draw over my brows. Yesterday, I returned for a touch up and asked for thicker and darker brows... My cousin commented it looks like 蜡笔小新. Ettusais sales assistant said the shape is nice. My mum, knowing that it will peel off in time, was pleased. Nah...

A brief one of yesterday.
1) Went to touch up my eyebrow. I actually lost her name card and contact from my phone book. Fortunately, I remembered at which block she lives and she has no appointment when I went knocking on her door.

2) Went for de-stress body treatment at Leonard Drake, Ngee Ann City. The whole process was HOT! First, there was a thermal wrap on the bed. Less massage, some hot stone stamping. Mask the body with hot Oatmeal, Ginger, Seaweed, Wheatgrass mixture and green in color. After that they wrapped me up with that thermal thingy and have this machine with strong red ray shining over it for about... 20minutes i think. This treatment is meant to de-stress and detox your body, making it feel smoother and glow. I signed for 3 treatments at $160 during their special promotion for their passion members. Original price was $300 per 2 hours session! Shall see how is it benefiting me. ;)

3) I have 2 hours free before I met my cousin for some window shopping and dinner. Whenever, I was kept waiting, I have the tendency to spend! As far as my willpower can take, I relented and ended up paying for a pair of nike sneakers and fitness pants. Ok... I shall not further explain myself.

4) My day ended with hopping into a few branded boutique like LV, Loewe, Salvatore Ferragamo, Burberry and Gucci with my cousin, helping her to look for new wallet and bag. Food republic for dinner after that.

Before I go to bed, I shall browse through for which fitness class to attend. The resolution is toned arms, abs, butt and legs. Weee.... Ok. I shall just put myself to rest before my mind start releasing negative vibes.

Night world.

And it's only the beginning...

2008-01-16T02:14:00.000+08:00

My hand was trembling.

The pen was heavy to hold.

About 40 pages.

Provision of 28 years.

Exchanged for a bunch of 21 keys.

The keys to piling of debts. :s

How I wish I could turn back time.

2008-01-14T01:16:00.000+08:00

The Bitter Stickgirl
http://stickgal.blogspot.com

2008-01-13T03:51:00.000+08:00

I slapped myself again. Shucks.

Have I been letting go of myself too much? Or do I need to brush up my art of speaking? Or shall I just shut up? Or am I a soul so unkind and insensitive? Or is it my not bothered attitude?

Now I am getting more afraid? I am afraid of just chatting, just talking and just sharing.

Is it really me? Have I really said anything so wrong that I should be so afraid of speaking again?

Oh dear... have I been torn apart with this society?

I am confused now. Can I be me? Will you create a distance from me if I am me? Will you stop talking to and joke with me? That direct and frankness of me? No? None of you can?

:(

A week into 2008.

2008-01-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

Location: Zurich
Weather: 4 degrees. Raining
Time: GMT +1
Mood: Average

Suddenly, something made me recalled seeing her eyes with tears in control a few days ago. When I was told, that she felt sad because she saw an old man being conned, I thought she has the kindest heart on earth. As she was checking out and and I was departing, I did not ask about details. But there are just some things in this world that cannot be controlled. It's god, who made all man differently, isn't it?

Just yesterday, I found out that I did something wrong. Selfishly, I forgot to take care of other's feeling. Coincidentally, he text me at the same time, pouring out his thoughts of our relationship and as a wife to be... he felt that I have never spared enough thought for him.

It was yesterday, I plunged. I did not realize that some action from me seemed pretty alright can deem very important to others. Or rather, I thought it was important too but maybe I did not handle it well enough to reach out for everyone's feeling.

I knew I am not as kind as many of my friends around me. It's because this is a practical world to me. Crimes and riots happen everyday in every corner of the world but I do not show, it does not mean I feel nothing. Life just have to move on.

How to moderate oneself? How to be myself and be a good one. Ironically, we are always the hardest person to face. How to set free and be the righteous and truthful self?

Last Year in Kyoto

2008-01-06T15:56:00.000+08:00

(More...)

2008-01-05T16:23:00.000+08:00

Saturday, 05 January, 2008.

The sky is dark and it just began to rain. I had lunch alone, I am home alone and I need to go tonight.
It does not feel like one Saturday at all.

Back Dated Photoblog

2008-01-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

Some highlights of the festive gatherings....

(.... find out our dark secrets here)

Last day

2007-12-31T01:12:00.000+08:00

It is the last day of 2007. I will be welcoming 2008 in the sky, most probably in the GMT of GMT+10 or +11.

There are quite a bit to look forward to in 2008 and I predict that my life is going to switch to a different chapter. It is going to be different for the past 25 years on earth.

It definitely begin with the preparation of my wedding in early 2009. I see stress, paranoid, excitement, uneasiness, nervous- all kinds of tension emo, over my gowns, venue, planning, parental pressure, the sisters and the brothers. I would like it to be a happy and spontaneous one. Notice that I want everything perfect and up to my standard. I wonder how are people around me is going to cope with me. Probably, my friends and relatives will walk away from me after my wedding. To me, donning a wedding gown, walking down the aisle with some you love for the first time is like a life time. I am afraid that I will regret, after a few years, if i am going to make it let it be.
Next comes my new and first home. We have to worry about the renovation that includes design, colors, furniture, lightings, electronic, cleaning, packing and unpacking, and moving. Any volunteers to help with the last 3? :p It is our love nest so I will have to be a little precise and particular of it right? hehe...

A good news is I have finally submitted a registration online for a degree program next year. So happy for myself. :) I shall now sit patiently and wait for reply. I did not mention about job hopping. Yup, I should be still with the same company till contract ends because money is the main factor, especially we need heavy cash flow for the beginning.

I have never set any new year resolution in my life. Perhaps, you heard me mention or sharing a bit, but i am not shy to say that none has been actioned.

For the sake of the new chapter, I roughly went through some in mind, this time they whisper to me like a grown up adult.

I must be able to control my spending and save more than this year.
I must exercise more to slim down and in order to release the upcoming stress.
I must be organized with my own things, his things, our things at home.
I must have a healthy diet and continue to be hardworking on my complexion.
I must not neglect my parents especially my mum.
I must be discipline with school and continue to do my best at work.
I must have time for friends too.

I have no answers of how and where I am 30 years old but at least I got something for next year. However, I will still be who I am. Embrace. Embrace...

I have a few wishlist for next year too. keke....

I want a rumored new mac laptop.
I want to own a LV bag.
hm...... cannot think of anymore. haha... not too much right... there's valentine in Feb and my birthday in March. ;)

Knowing myself, I feel that I belong to the devil or hell category with the least gratitude in the world. Knowing the fact that I am living with many luxury but still wanted more. I only admire those who are noble to help, those who are strong to stand up from failure, illness or 先天性残缺 (will someone be kind enough to tell me what do I call this in english?) and capable in living a fulfilled life. I have to admit, I am not kind and courageous enough.

Please give me a few more years, I will do something about it before I become lao kok kok. Also, I will learn to enjoy what I will be doing.

Yawnz.... Late le. Oh... did I mention I will be flying for the first time on that big bird later? Yawnz again.

Goodnight all. Wish everyone a Happy New Year!!!

2007-12-26T14:07:00.001+08:00

Funny...

Why some women, who already knew and also mentioned that there are some guys out there whom we cannot, can never entrust our lives on, still stay in the relationship with them?

Is that women emo thing an excuse? Or is it just could not bear to let go? WTF!
Stop finding excuses lah!